I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
