he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
