My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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