i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
