I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i don't like sucking hair
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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