i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
