Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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