Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
