just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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