Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
