How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
