I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
