The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
