At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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