are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
