Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
