so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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