She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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