I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
