dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize
