...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
