We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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