pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
