Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He did a backflip because drugs
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