your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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