3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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