he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
