garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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