Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
