chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
