whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
