dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
