These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
