They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
