I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
