when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
