I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
