btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
