Where is the hickey?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
