I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
