dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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