You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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