Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
