What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He felt like a one man threesome
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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