i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
