I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
