Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
