P.S. I can't hear my feet
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
