He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
