Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
