Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
