Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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